No matter where we are in our journey, I think most of us who present more masculine — whether trans, nonbinary, or gender nonconforming — share some common insecurities. It’s not just about clothes or appearance; it’s about how we’re perceived, how we feel in our own bodies, and the gap between how we see ourselves and how the world sees us. I wanted to share a few of mine, because if you’ve ever felt this way, you’re definitely not alone.
For me, one of my biggest insecurities is not having a flat enough chest. No matter what binder I wear or how carefully I layer my clothes, there are days when it still feels like it’s all anyone can see. It makes me hyper-aware of every reflection, every photo, and even how I move.
Another source of tension is body hair — especially leg hair. I like seeing it grow because it makes me feel more like myself, but it clashes with how people expect me to look. There’s this weird push and pull between wanting to embrace that growth and feeling like I’m breaking some unspoken “rule” of how I’m supposed to present.
Then there’s the constant pressure of not fully passing as a guy. When people aren’t sure, it creates this internal tug-of-war. Sometimes I feel like I have to act more “feminine” just to make others comfortable — even when it doesn’t feel true to who I am. It’s exhausting, and it chips away at my confidence.
I also struggle with not having a sharp jawline. It sounds small, but facial structure plays a big role in how people read you. Without that definition, my face feels softer — younger — and that makes me feel less masculine and less mature in social settings or photos.
My voice is another big one. It’s not naturally deep, and that difference between what people see and what they hear can cause anxiety. It makes me self-conscious when I talk to new people or answer the phone. It’s not just about pitch; it’s about the disconnect that can happen between identity and sound.
And then, there’s my body shape. Not having a “masculine” body makes simple things — like swimming — feel complicated. I love the water, but it’s hard to enjoy it when I’m busy thinking about how others might perceive me. The pool should feel freeing, but sometimes it feels like a spotlight.
All of these insecurities stack up, and some days they feel heavier than others. So if you’ve ever looked in the mirror and wished something about you was different — I get it. I’m right there with you. We’re all figuring it out together, and there’s strength in that. You’re not alone in your insecurities, and they don’t make you any less valid.